[ Oh. Even that small gesture makes Viktor realize that he's not as closed off and basically going to buffer him off. He had suggested going home first to have their talk so they could resolve things, but maybe Yuuri was amiable to continuing the conversation now?
Either way, he shifts just a little to take the spoonful of food that Yuuri is offering him, settling into a subtle smile afterward and giving Yuuri's shoulder a light nuzzle. ]
Is it okay to talk now? We could always communicate with the amulets, if that'd be better.
[ Though, really, he preferred the talking directly with Yuuri route, especially when they're right by each other, but for the sake of privacy, he'll give him that option, too. ]
[ Yuuri still doesn't really react when Viktor nuzzles his shoulder and instead looks away to poke around at the food in front of them with his spoon. Even though he didn't have to, Yuuri keeps his voice low and only loud enough for Viktor to hear. ]
I don't like the amulets. [ He confesses after a while of poking at the food and eventually helping himself to some of it. He doesn't even bother to switch utensils and uses the very same spoon that Viktor had used. They've kissed once already, hadn't they? And depends on how this conversation goes...
Well, sharing utensils wouldn't be the worse thing ever. Figuring that eating while talking might call for some awkward moments so he puts down the spoon and looks back at Viktor. ] If I want to talk to you, then I rather hear your voice in person.
[ Yuuri goes silent though he makes it known to Viktor that he was still mulling over some words and wanted to say something else. Fingers twitch at the table as he feels the urge to brush aside Viktor's fringe to see more of his face but he holds back.
In a smaller and careful voice, he finally speaks. ]
What are we Viktor?
[ How funny that kissing, touching, and things like this all were okay with Yuuri but the idea of being engaged or even in a relationship with Viktor were a shock to his nerves. But it was something that they never discussed. Everything else he could have written off as just parts of who Viktor was—overtly tactile and affectionate with no sense of personal boundaries. However, if he wanted to put more meaning behind it all... Shouldn't that have been mentioned at least once? ]
You... [ "...are in love with me," is the rest of that sentence that Yuuri can't say. ] I know how you feel about me but I'm still not sure.
[ He knows that he doesn't want Viktor to leave his side and doesn't want Viktor to leave him. Now that he was planning on exploring the idea of coming back on the ice with Yuuri then he didn't have to see things as a finite time anymore. Of course he also knows that Viktor is the person who he has ever cared this deeply for.
But...love? Was this love? It sure did feel like it. ]
[ There is the initial silent agreement about the amulets. He isn't fond of them, either, especially being in person. Granted, it won't stop him from occasionally sending out messages to him when they're not together. It's just like using a cellphone, after all. Well, maybe a little more awkward, but that's beside the point.
Viktor shifts just enough to take the hand of the arm he's leaning on, but otherwise doesn't move away. He doesn't want to physically disconnect from him at all. Even with Yuuri struggling for these answers, it doesn't bother him. ]
I'm willing to wait as long as you need, Yuuri. I won't pretend I'm not impatient or selfish, but for you, on this, I'm willing to wait. To me, you're an entity I can't live without now that I've found you. I want to be with you in every capacity I can.
[ Finally he does shift enough to reach out with his hand that has the ring on it to take Yuuri's hand with the ring, being blatant about this fact. ]
I know you said these were good luck charms, but to me it feels like there's a deeper meaning. You did this on instinct. Yuuri, are you sure you're not just holding back?
[ He's not sure why he would be. Maybe there's a fear of getting lost in those feelings or losing him, himself. It could be that Yuuri doesn't know how to grapple with the feelings and doesn't want to take that full plunge and get lost in it. Perhaps it has to do with his sometimes timid and insecure nature. But from what Viktor's seen on the ice, there's that deep feeling being expressed to the world. He has to wonder what Yuuri is thinking while skating like that. Or maybe it's nothing at all. ]
You're the first person I've loved. Like this, anyway. You've given me a life beyond the ice. I don't want to let that go.
[ Maybe he didn't explicitly answer what they were, but honestly, he can't speak for Yuuri's side of things. Hopefully he explained enough that he wants to be partners with Yuuri for the rest of his life. That he wasn't being totally flippant about the engagement remark. ]
[ Yuuri knows without a shadow of the doubt if anyone else was in this position, they’d be over the moon and head-over-heels in love with Viktor. …or at least eat up all of the affection and attention that he gave. Anyone else would have loved to be treated this kindly and to be respected in this way—Yuuri might even have dared say it was borderlining on unconditional love. Agape. Yuuri knew the fundamental meaning of it and why he would have felt far more comfortable skating to it had he been allowed to choose. But seeing the man he has always idolized holding onto him and speaking sweet nothings to him, Yuuri felt a little lost.
He knew exactly how deep Viktor’s feelings ran and now to actually hear him say it aloud didn’t calm him. Viktor was so confident in his love with Yuuri and didn’t have a shred of doubt about them. For him, Yuuri was that missing piece of him that he never knew he was missing to begin with. He was a person who would endlessly surprise him and want to love for as long as he could. And what about himself? Yuuri was still trying to come to terms of his “love”. ]
You’re so important to me, Viktor. I’ve said how much you’ve done for me and I’m sure you know how I’ve idolized you for so long but...
[ He knows he can’t give Viktor all of the credit for everything that’s happened to him, since he knows he was instrumental in a lot of that himself. Without his own personal drive, he wouldn’t have made it this far. Not to mention, Viktor was still a shitty coach from time to time who didn’t know how to handle Yuuri’s fragile heart. ]
But what I feel now—I’ve never felt this way for anyone. [ Something that Yuuri’s said multiple times and each time it keeps coming back to whether or not if it was “love”. He was pretty certain it felt like it but it also felt more than just simple love. Love was too cheap of a word and yet admitting that it was something more than that was hard. Maybe for now it would be a compromise to put a proper “label” on them until Yuuri could feel entirely comfortable with what they were. For him to have a word to cling to and explore. ] ...would you really want to marry me?
[ Even though Yuuri is certain that the answer is “yes”, he wants to hear it come from Viktor’s mouth. He wants to not let there be any kind of gray area or assumptions about what they were be between one another. Yuuri looks at their joined hands and feels his face burn as he continues. ]
Do you want to be in a relationship?
[ Unspoken were Yuuri’s thoughts of, With me? Out of all of the people that you could have easily had… ]
[ There is a small laugh at the bit about him being too patient. That's something he'd never heard in his entire life. But he also knows that Yuuri can't be pushed too hard or he'll be too stubborn about it or reject him in his own way. Maybe a part of him is holding back and teasing at their relationship to see if he could draw out that impatience again he's seen in Yuuri's skating.
But as he continues, the smile turns into a warm fondness and that cool, but exhilarating and refreshing air of the ice returns around them. There is a very comforting crispness and it makes Viktor shift just a little bit closer to Yuuri. Basically, he's plastered to him at this point.
He does let go of Yuuri's hand and moves so he can place both hands on Yuuri's face and look at him directly. Maybe people would just assume that he was a host having fun with the guest. Luckily this was the type of place that this wouldn't be too out of place so that no one would bother looking over. Especially since they were busy with their own host.
As he looks into Yuuri's eyes, it's almost like his own are shimmering. It's uncertain if that's because of this place or just his general feelings for Yuuri boiling up inside. Probably a bit of both. ]
You are the only person I could see myself spending my entire life with and even that wouldn't be enough time.
[ His words come out so thick with affection that it's easy to hear the sheer heartache from all the love he holds inside. It's like there's a dam about ready to break and even Viktor has been uncertain how much longer he could just tread water before being pulled down by this undertow of emotion. Or maybe he was already drowning in it. ]
If you'll have me.
[ For as overconfident as Viktor can be, that statement is a moment of vulnerability. There's zero doubt in his own feelings and while it's not that he doubts the capacity of what Yuuri feelings, knowingly or unknowingly, there was still the possibility through all of this that it isn't what Yuuri wants, especially being uncertain of his own feelings. ]
[ Trust Viktor not to have answered it simply, but then again the fact that he didn't makes the whole situation far more meaningful...in a way.
He thinks back to the time where Viktor had told him that when Yuuri demanded him to stay with him until the Grand Prix Final it sounded like a marriage proposal, but given what Viktor had just said to him right now, Yuuri was inclined to disagree. Here was Viktor basically throwing himself at Yuuri's feet in the hopes that he'll accept him. He wants to accept him. Of course he wants to accept him! There's no other person in the entire world that he has ever met that has come close to what Yuuri was feeling.
Yet, there's still some lingering hesitations. Yuuri, without a doubt, feels a love for Viktor and one that overpowers him and makes him really worry about how their emotions might be affecting the other patrons in the restaurant. The crisp air between them is joined by the fluttering breeze of Yuuri's own emotions and coupled with a familiar smell of a sea breeze. Small wildflowers seem to take bloom on the table in front of them as Yuuri tries to find the words he wants to say.
They're easy words. Simple. A single word would suffice too if Yuuri was feeling too cowardly to be any more honest than that. But the words are stuck in his throat as Yuuri loses focus and stares back at Viktor unknowing what kind of face he's making. Something in the back of his head tells him that he's being so selfish to have Viktor to all of himself like this but...but that's a feeling that dies out as he raises a hand to push aside the fringe that normally covered one of his eyes.
Viktor loves him so much. He honestly and truly loves him so much. Forget about the feeling that Viktor forced upon Yuuri before, he could tell from just that look alone. Yuuri still may not understand completely what it is that he feels for Viktor, frustratingly so, but he does know that he wants nothing more than what is staring back at him right now. And after so many false starts of trying to find the words to say, Yuuri manages something: ]
Now, this sounds like a marriage proposal.
[ There's a trace of humor in his voice. Light and teasing, but when Yuuri speaks he keeps his voice no louder than a whisper. He doesn't need anyone else to know what is going on. The smell, flowers, and coolness are already interrupting some of the patrons who are nearby. The floaty feeling affecting everyone else and causing others to feel as infatuated and enamored as them. ]
[ The little spring scene that's blossoming through the gentle ice makes for an interesting scene in this restaurant. One that the makers don't seem to be honed in on. But it didn't matter what was going on in the world around them from their emotions right now. To Viktor, all that mattered was Yuuri. Nothing else. It could be argued that most of the time this was true anyway, outside of Makkachin. Maybe this is why he was able to pick up on a lot of things with Yuuri and remember details. To him, Yuuri was the most interesting thing in the world.
It seemed a little unfair to Viktor, though. Here he was putting his heart on a platter and holding it out for Yuuri and all he does is tease him. Granted, there have been plenty of times where he teased Yuuri, as well, but it was a little disheartening. Even so, he presses through those feelings and focuses even more on Yuuri. ]
And maybe you're right. Maybe I am being too patient.
[ He leans in closer to him, making the gap almost nothing between them, eyes still focused wholly on Yuuri. The gentle affection turning to something more intense and that coolness starting to pick up an edge of heat to it. A heat akin to that feeling after having skated an intense competition and giving it your all. His breath is hot on Yuuri's lips as he lingers there for a few moments. ]
Then again, aren't you supposed to seal your wedding vows with a kiss?
[ That's all the warning Yuuri has before Viktor places his lips on Yuuri's. It's something tender, but has an edge of neediness to him. He wants to convey his feelings as a whole to him, but it's obvious there's a tight leash he's keeping himself on so as to not get carried away, especially here in public. There is a slight tenseness in his posture, waiting for some form of reciprocation and a hint of worry that Yuuri will just push him away or pull away himself.
This kiss isn't like the one they shared before when he did it to surprise Yuuri. No, this kiss is pure in every sense of the word. Once again, he's exposing his raw emotions and hoping to get his point across. This is the forever he means. This is his answer to if he wants to marry Yuuri and be a couple with him. Or he hopes it's enough to express that. ]
[ If there were any words that Yuuri wanted to say in response before Viktor kisses him, then they were all lost and to be possibly stated later. And to claim that he didn’t see the kiss coming was to be lying because Yuuri definitely saw something coming and with how close Viktor had moved their faces together, he could only assume it would be a kiss. Honestly there had been so many times where Viktor was barely inches from his face and every single one of those times, he wouldn’t have been surprised if he just moved in just a bit closer to kiss him. Then again, when they did share their first kiss, it did come as a surprise to him. Who expects for their coach to come jumping at them for a kiss on international television?
Definitely not Yuuri.
Strangely, despite all of Yuuri’s hesitations in regards to Viktor’s displays of affection for him and how he lavishes it onto Yuuri as if he would die if he didn’t, the kiss doesn’t quite make his face burn as hotly as all of those other more subtle or overt actions. Yuuri can still feel his ears grow hot as a result from the kiss but it’s not the same level of all-encompassing embarrassment. Instead of burning heat that would normally flood the area and make things worrisome for anything malleable, the small wildflowers that were in the process of blooming are now in full bloom. He doesn’t know what a kiss is supposed to feel like, but Yuuri can’t shake the feeling that it feels a bit tense—like Viktor was afraid.
Shyly and gently, he’ll wrap his arms around Viktor and relax into the kiss unlike their first time. He has no experience in regards to how or what he’s supposed to do with kissing but Yuuri does his best to take a moment to kiss back. However awkward and timid it might have come across he embraces Viktor’s feelings. His anxieties regarding the status of his feelings taking a backseat as he enjoys the moment. It is only a moment as a soft gasp from a passing patron reminds Yuuri that they were public and he quietly but not quickly pulls back.
His face is flushed and he averts his gaze from Viktor momentarily. ]
I do.
[ The answer, vague as it is and severely taken out of context, comes with a gaze from behind eyelashes. Hopefully the delay and out-of-orderness of Yuuri’s reply wouldn’t bother Viktor. After all, they’ve done this all out of order. Dates, confessions, proposals, marriage… Rings that were supposed to be an omamori were now having the extra weight of possibly being engagement rings. What did it matter if Viktor sealed their “wedding vows” with a kiss before Yuuri had any say? ]
[ The moment that Yuuri begins to reciprocate the kiss and wrap his arms around him is the moment that tension seems to melt from Viktor's body completely. Maybe he didn't even realize that he was like that and lets out a sigh of relief into the kiss before Yuuri pulls away.
Unlike other times, he doesn't pout from him pulling away like this. It isn't that kneejerk reaction of plastering himself against the nearest wall like a cornered animal. Instead, they're sharing a very tender and very real moment together. Honestly, he doesn't care about that surprised sound from the patron, but he knows that Yuuri is much more reserved than he is, so he won't push for more right this moment.
Though, this is also Viktor we're talking about and he isn't exactly Prince Charming on a personal level. He shifts to press his lips against Yuuri's ear, a hint of a grin there. ]
I won't say "I do," until you get that gold medal. [ But he gives a soft kiss to his ear. ] But I am officially yours, Yuuri Katsuki.
[ Of all of the replies he had half expected to hear... It's both very fitting and immensely embarrassing.
If Yuuri had any purely mean spirited bone in his body, he would have made some sort of rude remark to counter Viktor's very...Viktor-like reply. He still doesn't want him to get away with that cheeky remark but the kiss on his ear is a total cheap shot and while he wasn't burning up before from embarrassment, he certainly is now. Instinctively, one of Yuuri's hands will immediately go to cover the ear which Viktor had kissed.
Kissing was fine in public (or on the international stage) but small displays of affection like this were too much? It makes no sense, obviously, but there's not more he can do. The flowers on the table are still in bloom but instead of a gentle crispness from Yuuri, there's a more heated and oppressive air around him.
He had wanted to get better with his embarrassment but there was only so much he could do. But now that flare of embarrassment slowly subsiding, he gives Viktor a bit of a challenging but extremely flustered look. ]
I...I'm your's as well. [ He tries to keep his voice even but it wavers regardless. Yuuri wanted them to be equals and if Viktor "belonged" to him, then he "belonged" to Viktor. And even if that didn't exactly spell out what they were in the simplest of terms, it was enough for now. ] And I'm going to win that gold medal, too.
[ It's the first thing that came to Viktor's mind and if he was anyone else, it probably would have been such a grossly inappropriate thing to say. At this point, Yuuri should just be used to that type of thing. How awful for him. But given they've personally known each other for months and Yuuri still gave him a ring (even if it's a good luck charm,) it's apparently something that Yuuri's accepted about Viktor. Or at least tolerates.
That alone should be proof that he loves Viktor. Putting up with all his bullshit. ]
That's the confidence I like to hear. [ There's zero sarcasm in his voice at that. He honestly did love the idea of Yuuri being determined for the gold. Not because of the medal itself, but the meaning behind it. It meant that Yuuri would put his whole being into his routines. ]
[ When did Yuuri not put his whole being into his routines?
Okay, there were several times where he didn't put his whole heart into it but those were days in the past. Nowadays the only thing that could affect his skating were his own nerves. He wanted nothing but to impress Viktor and to skate in such a way that he would look nowhere else but him. ]
Are you still hungry?
[ They were here originally for the food and even though they hadn't eaten all of the food that was brought to them, Yuuri has at least eaten a fair amount of what was there. ...not that he was eating his feelings or anything like that.
A more crass person would say something regarding "hunger", but was Viktor one of those types? ]
If we're done here we can just go and get groceries now.
[ When he was holding back and staying in that "warm up" mode. Clearly he needed to get over that hurdle of insecurity that was holding him back just that little bit. So perhaps it wasn't so much that he wasn't putting in his whole being, it was a little different than that.
And while Viktor could be a crass person from time to time in private, this isn't something that registers for him to be like that. So he doesn't just go for sexual hunger as being an implication here. ]
We should take the leftovers with us. [ He could honestly probably eat more, but at this point, he wanted to get home with Yuuri. Sure, they had their mind on the ice, but things got majorly derailed with their conversation. These things happen. It's also probable that Viktor had left food behind from time-to-time at a restaurant, but the fact that this was a "gift" from their hosts, it would be rude to leave things behind. Especially the dessert they hadn't even tried. ]
We could always take a detour to the apartment to drop them off and then get shopping.
[ One of them could wait outside, even, so that they wouldn't be tempted to just stay in after returning home. ]
[ We all know that if it was Chris, he totally would, but that's also neither here nor there. It would also be a bit too soon to be making those sort of comments towards Yuuri. Unless, that is, he wanted Yuuri to run from him. If that was the case then he would be more than welcomed to make those sort of crass comments towards Yuuri. ]
We could.
[ Yuuri says thoughtfully as he decides to spoon himself some more food but change his mind at the last minute and holds it up towards Viktor. He just honestly hoped that Viktor wasn't going to get too comfortable with this treatment and expect more of it. ]
But if we make two detours back to the apartment then we'll never make it to the ice.
[ Unless that's Viktor's plan now. They had been so excited to get to it. ]
[ Viktor's long since learned about Yuuri's shyness and has him plaster himself against the wall when he's been too forward in his comments. That's why most of the come ones have been more tactile than commentary and that seems to work a lot better for the both of them. Even if it causes misunderstandings. ]
That's true. We could always opt for dropping this off at the apartment, head to the ice, and then grab some groceries on the way home. That would work, wouldn't it?
[ They shouldn't be too tired and as long as they didn't let the time completely disappear so that everything would be closed, it would be fine. Not only that, they would have food left over in case they did miss shopping and could easily remedy that by getting up early the next day. It wouldn't be that big of a deal, either way. ]
[ Yuuri's honestly a bit doubtful about how promptly they'll be able to return home, rather, go to a grocery store after all of the skating that they'll do (or he'll want to do) but it was still a solid plan overall.]
Yeah, I think that'd be fine.
[ With that decided, Yuuri will look to flag down one of the servers to have their things packed up and to-go. Maybe he shouldn't have been too surprised to know that they would have taken all of the plates themselves to be packed away given how nice of the place it was, but he was. Mainly because the server gave them a weird look when they noticed how they were missing their hosts. ]
[ Even if they'll be a bit tired, they didn't have to do all the shopping they needed for however long. A couple days, or even just one, would be enough so that they would have food for the immediate future. So, it's not like they'd have to spend too long in a store or carry too much back. Plus, having two bodies meant they would be able to carry an equal share. Maybe. If Viktor carried anything at all. That was questionable. ]
Then it's settled.
[ The skating part of the deal was probably the most important part of their plans, honestly. ]
[ And settled it was. The server returns with their packed up leftovers allowing them to make it back to the flat that they were staying at without any other further problem. Yuuri makes sure that neither one of them linger too long and give Makkachin all of the affection he needed as they left him alone a bit longer.
Then it was to the teleporters that would transport them to where the rink was located, or well, the city that the rink was located. Yuuri hadn't really liked the teleporter too terribly much finding the whole experience something rather unnerving. How was he supposed to know for certain that he wasn't going not make it to where they were? Also how did any of that stuff actually work?
Well, whatever the case, they made it finally to the rink without many hiccups. Casual small talk had between the two of them and Yuuri reaching out every so often to brush his fingers against Viktor's hand, too shy to hold it himself. Not that it matters currently. ]
There really is a rink...
[ There's a childish awe in Yuuri's voice as he sees the ice before them. It's definitely not Olympic sized but it's better than nothing. The next step that Yuuri takes is to look around for where they can find skates. He didn't see any buildings/shacks in the immediate area...or well, there was one shabby looking shack. Couldn't they once wander upon something that didn't make Yuuri have second guesses? ]
[ Of course, after one of those "accidental" brushes, Viktor would have taken Yuuri's hand. There was zero reason not to and it's a surprise he stops even at just hand holding, to be honest. The more contact, the better.
The childlike wonder made something in Viktor's heart skip a beat. Ah, he's beyond enamored with this man and every moment together he falls even more in love with him. Some might get sick of that sugar sweet, but he didn't care what they thought. ]
He didn't. [ Or maybe he did and it could have been when Viktor wasn't paying attention at all. This is also a very big possibility. ] Maybe there's something inside?
[ Hand holding is fundamentally different than all of the touching and hugs that Viktor did for whatever reason. Suppose it was easier to "write off" the way that Viktor clung to Yuuri as just him being a tactile person whereas holding hands is something typically done between people who are in a relationship of some sort. Still, Yuuri would have been silently happy to hold Viktor's hand. ]
Only one way to find out— [ And with no further word or indication, Yuuri is going to brave whatever apprehensions that he had to locate himself some rental skates. He does eventually find someone who were renting skates out and while they certainly didn't look like anything he was familiar with, Yuuri helps himself to a pair and lacing them up with practiced ease. ]
I wonder how balanced these blades are on the skates.
[ It's possibly that Viktor has never had to deal with rental skates like this and it's going to be strange for him. It'll be something he'll have to adjust to, but it shouldn't be the worst thing possible. He laces up his own skates with just the same type of ease and gives a casual shrug. ]
We'll find out how they are.
[ Trying them out was the only way to do that, of course. Before either of them can move from their bench, though, Viktor is leaning over to take Yuuri's chin in his hands and slowly lean in. ]
It's a relief to know we have this. [ And, since he's been all but given permission to be who he is, there's a quick and teasing kiss before he gets up and throws his arms above his head. ]
[ He's been given permission to act however he is but that's not exactly permission to kiss Yuuri whenever he felt like it! So what if technically Viktor being Viktor would mean that he would do whatever he wanted, which included stealing kisses from Yuuri whenever he wanted.
There had to be some line somewhere, right? Either way the shift in what they were and how they treated one another made Yuuri's face flushed. Never would he have imagined being in the situation he was now. ]
You sound like an old man when you say things like that.
[ He means it in all of the most playful of ways, but he's going to push past Viktor and help himself onto the ice, gliding easily onto the ice and feeling out the blades and getting familiar to them. They weren't terrible, but certainly not his own. At the very least they were still well worn in. ]
[ This beast was unleashed by Yuuri and he's going to just have to deal with it. Hopefully he doesn't develop and ulcer from Viktor's antics. WHO KNOWS...
Lines are made to be challenged and crossed. At least, that's Viktor's viewpoint. There was no reason to restrain yourself from doing something you want. That's honestly no way to live life. It'd be dull and boring. At least, to him it is.
But ouch, Yuuri! That line. Maybe some restraint wouldn't hurt. At least in that regard. ]
Yuuri, my poor heart! [ He's being dramatic. He's always a bit dramatic, though, so this shouldn't be a surprise. There's a heavyhearted sigh as he clutches his shirt over his heart and skates onto the ice. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Either way, he shifts just a little to take the spoonful of food that Yuuri is offering him, settling into a subtle smile afterward and giving Yuuri's shoulder a light nuzzle. ]
Is it okay to talk now? We could always communicate with the amulets, if that'd be better.
[ Though, really, he preferred the talking directly with Yuuri route, especially when they're right by each other, but for the sake of privacy, he'll give him that option, too. ]
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I don't like the amulets. [ He confesses after a while of poking at the food and eventually helping himself to some of it. He doesn't even bother to switch utensils and uses the very same spoon that Viktor had used. They've kissed once already, hadn't they? And depends on how this conversation goes...
Well, sharing utensils wouldn't be the worse thing ever. Figuring that eating while talking might call for some awkward moments so he puts down the spoon and looks back at Viktor. ] If I want to talk to you, then I rather hear your voice in person.
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In a smaller and careful voice, he finally speaks. ]
What are we Viktor?
[ How funny that kissing, touching, and things like this all were okay with Yuuri but the idea of being engaged or even in a relationship with Viktor were a shock to his nerves. But it was something that they never discussed. Everything else he could have written off as just parts of who Viktor was—overtly tactile and affectionate with no sense of personal boundaries. However, if he wanted to put more meaning behind it all... Shouldn't that have been mentioned at least once? ]
You... [ "...are in love with me," is the rest of that sentence that Yuuri can't say. ] I know how you feel about me but I'm still not sure.
[ He knows that he doesn't want Viktor to leave his side and doesn't want Viktor to leave him. Now that he was planning on exploring the idea of coming back on the ice with Yuuri then he didn't have to see things as a finite time anymore. Of course he also knows that Viktor is the person who he has ever cared this deeply for.
But...love? Was this love? It sure did feel like it. ]
Not entirely, that is.
https://youtu.be/HEXWRTEbj1I
Viktor shifts just enough to take the hand of the arm he's leaning on, but otherwise doesn't move away. He doesn't want to physically disconnect from him at all. Even with Yuuri struggling for these answers, it doesn't bother him. ]
I'm willing to wait as long as you need, Yuuri. I won't pretend I'm not impatient or selfish, but for you, on this, I'm willing to wait. To me, you're an entity I can't live without now that I've found you. I want to be with you in every capacity I can.
[ Finally he does shift enough to reach out with his hand that has the ring on it to take Yuuri's hand with the ring, being blatant about this fact. ]
I know you said these were good luck charms, but to me it feels like there's a deeper meaning. You did this on instinct. Yuuri, are you sure you're not just holding back?
[ He's not sure why he would be. Maybe there's a fear of getting lost in those feelings or losing him, himself. It could be that Yuuri doesn't know how to grapple with the feelings and doesn't want to take that full plunge and get lost in it. Perhaps it has to do with his sometimes timid and insecure nature. But from what Viktor's seen on the ice, there's that deep feeling being expressed to the world. He has to wonder what Yuuri is thinking while skating like that. Or maybe it's nothing at all. ]
You're the first person I've loved. Like this, anyway. You've given me a life beyond the ice. I don't want to let that go.
[ Maybe he didn't explicitly answer what they were, but honestly, he can't speak for Yuuri's side of things. Hopefully he explained enough that he wants to be partners with Yuuri for the rest of his life. That he wasn't being totally flippant about the engagement remark. ]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0KmI0b1oAs
[ Yuuri knows without a shadow of the doubt if anyone else was in this position, they’d be over the moon and head-over-heels in love with Viktor. …or at least eat up all of the affection and attention that he gave. Anyone else would have loved to be treated this kindly and to be respected in this way—Yuuri might even have dared say it was borderlining on unconditional love. Agape. Yuuri knew the fundamental meaning of it and why he would have felt far more comfortable skating to it had he been allowed to choose. But seeing the man he has always idolized holding onto him and speaking sweet nothings to him, Yuuri felt a little lost.
He knew exactly how deep Viktor’s feelings ran and now to actually hear him say it aloud didn’t calm him. Viktor was so confident in his love with Yuuri and didn’t have a shred of doubt about them. For him, Yuuri was that missing piece of him that he never knew he was missing to begin with. He was a person who would endlessly surprise him and want to love for as long as he could. And what about himself? Yuuri was still trying to come to terms of his “love”. ]
You’re so important to me, Viktor. I’ve said how much you’ve done for me and I’m sure you know how I’ve idolized you for so long but...
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But what I feel now—I’ve never felt this way for anyone. [ Something that Yuuri’s said multiple times and each time it keeps coming back to whether or not if it was “love”. He was pretty certain it felt like it but it also felt more than just simple love. Love was too cheap of a word and yet admitting that it was something more than that was hard. Maybe for now it would be a compromise to put a proper “label” on them until Yuuri could feel entirely comfortable with what they were. For him to have a word to cling to and explore. ] ...would you really want to marry me?
[ Even though Yuuri is certain that the answer is “yes”, he wants to hear it come from Viktor’s mouth. He wants to not let there be any kind of gray area or assumptions about what they were be between one another. Yuuri looks at their joined hands and feels his face burn as he continues. ]
Do you want to be in a relationship?
[ Unspoken were Yuuri’s thoughts of, With me? Out of all of the people that you could have easily had… ]
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But as he continues, the smile turns into a warm fondness and that cool, but exhilarating and refreshing air of the ice returns around them. There is a very comforting crispness and it makes Viktor shift just a little bit closer to Yuuri. Basically, he's plastered to him at this point.
He does let go of Yuuri's hand and moves so he can place both hands on Yuuri's face and look at him directly. Maybe people would just assume that he was a host having fun with the guest. Luckily this was the type of place that this wouldn't be too out of place so that no one would bother looking over. Especially since they were busy with their own host.
As he looks into Yuuri's eyes, it's almost like his own are shimmering. It's uncertain if that's because of this place or just his general feelings for Yuuri boiling up inside. Probably a bit of both. ]
You are the only person I could see myself spending my entire life with and even that wouldn't be enough time.
[ His words come out so thick with affection that it's easy to hear the sheer heartache from all the love he holds inside. It's like there's a dam about ready to break and even Viktor has been uncertain how much longer he could just tread water before being pulled down by this undertow of emotion. Or maybe he was already drowning in it. ]
If you'll have me.
[ For as overconfident as Viktor can be, that statement is a moment of vulnerability. There's zero doubt in his own feelings and while it's not that he doubts the capacity of what Yuuri feelings, knowingly or unknowingly, there was still the possibility through all of this that it isn't what Yuuri wants, especially being uncertain of his own feelings. ]
this is fucking gay
He thinks back to the time where Viktor had told him that when Yuuri demanded him to stay with him until the Grand Prix Final it sounded like a marriage proposal, but given what Viktor had just said to him right now, Yuuri was inclined to disagree. Here was Viktor basically throwing himself at Yuuri's feet in the hopes that he'll accept him. He wants to accept him. Of course he wants to accept him! There's no other person in the entire world that he has ever met that has come close to what Yuuri was feeling.
Yet, there's still some lingering hesitations. Yuuri, without a doubt, feels a love for Viktor and one that overpowers him and makes him really worry about how their emotions might be affecting the other patrons in the restaurant. The crisp air between them is joined by the fluttering breeze of Yuuri's own emotions and coupled with a familiar smell of a sea breeze. Small wildflowers seem to take bloom on the table in front of them as Yuuri tries to find the words he wants to say.
They're easy words. Simple. A single word would suffice too if Yuuri was feeling too cowardly to be any more honest than that. But the words are stuck in his throat as Yuuri loses focus and stares back at Viktor unknowing what kind of face he's making. Something in the back of his head tells him that he's being so selfish to have Viktor to all of himself like this but...but that's a feeling that dies out as he raises a hand to push aside the fringe that normally covered one of his eyes.
Viktor loves him so much. He honestly and truly loves him so much. Forget about the feeling that Viktor forced upon Yuuri before, he could tell from just that look alone. Yuuri still may not understand completely what it is that he feels for Viktor, frustratingly so, but he does know that he wants nothing more than what is staring back at him right now. And after so many false starts of trying to find the words to say, Yuuri manages something: ]
Now, this sounds like a marriage proposal.
[ There's a trace of humor in his voice. Light and teasing, but when Yuuri speaks he keeps his voice no louder than a whisper. He doesn't need anyone else to know what is going on. The smell, flowers, and coolness are already interrupting some of the patrons who are nearby. The floaty feeling affecting everyone else and causing others to feel as infatuated and enamored as them. ]
Or maybe a part of a wedding vow.
flowers...
It seemed a little unfair to Viktor, though. Here he was putting his heart on a platter and holding it out for Yuuri and all he does is tease him. Granted, there have been plenty of times where he teased Yuuri, as well, but it was a little disheartening. Even so, he presses through those feelings and focuses even more on Yuuri. ]
And maybe you're right. Maybe I am being too patient.
[ He leans in closer to him, making the gap almost nothing between them, eyes still focused wholly on Yuuri. The gentle affection turning to something more intense and that coolness starting to pick up an edge of heat to it. A heat akin to that feeling after having skated an intense competition and giving it your all. His breath is hot on Yuuri's lips as he lingers there for a few moments. ]
Then again, aren't you supposed to seal your wedding vows with a kiss?
[ That's all the warning Yuuri has before Viktor places his lips on Yuuri's. It's something tender, but has an edge of neediness to him. He wants to convey his feelings as a whole to him, but it's obvious there's a tight leash he's keeping himself on so as to not get carried away, especially here in public. There is a slight tenseness in his posture, waiting for some form of reciprocation and a hint of worry that Yuuri will just push him away or pull away himself.
This kiss isn't like the one they shared before when he did it to surprise Yuuri. No, this kiss is pure in every sense of the word. Once again, he's exposing his raw emotions and hoping to get his point across. This is the forever he means. This is his answer to if he wants to marry Yuuri and be a couple with him. Or he hopes it's enough to express that. ]
look....................
Definitely not Yuuri.
Strangely, despite all of Yuuri’s hesitations in regards to Viktor’s displays of affection for him and how he lavishes it onto Yuuri as if he would die if he didn’t, the kiss doesn’t quite make his face burn as hotly as all of those other more subtle or overt actions. Yuuri can still feel his ears grow hot as a result from the kiss but it’s not the same level of all-encompassing embarrassment. Instead of burning heat that would normally flood the area and make things worrisome for anything malleable, the small wildflowers that were in the process of blooming are now in full bloom. He doesn’t know what a kiss is supposed to feel like, but Yuuri can’t shake the feeling that it feels a bit tense—like Viktor was afraid.
Shyly and gently, he’ll wrap his arms around Viktor and relax into the kiss unlike their first time. He has no experience in regards to how or what he’s supposed to do with kissing but Yuuri does his best to take a moment to kiss back. However awkward and timid it might have come across he embraces Viktor’s feelings. His anxieties regarding the status of his feelings taking a backseat as he enjoys the moment. It is only a moment as a soft gasp from a passing patron reminds Yuuri that they were public and he quietly but not quickly pulls back.
His face is flushed and he averts his gaze from Viktor momentarily. ]
I do.
[ The answer, vague as it is and severely taken out of context, comes with a gaze from behind eyelashes. Hopefully the delay and out-of-orderness of Yuuri’s reply wouldn’t bother Viktor. After all, they’ve done this all out of order. Dates, confessions, proposals, marriage… Rings that were supposed to be an omamori were now having the extra weight of possibly being engagement rings. What did it matter if Viktor sealed their “wedding vows” with a kiss before Yuuri had any say? ]
flowers, tho
Unlike other times, he doesn't pout from him pulling away like this. It isn't that kneejerk reaction of plastering himself against the nearest wall like a cornered animal. Instead, they're sharing a very tender and very real moment together. Honestly, he doesn't care about that surprised sound from the patron, but he knows that Yuuri is much more reserved than he is, so he won't push for more right this moment.
Though, this is also Viktor we're talking about and he isn't exactly Prince Charming on a personal level. He shifts to press his lips against Yuuri's ear, a hint of a grin there. ]
I won't say "I do," until you get that gold medal. [ But he gives a soft kiss to his ear. ] But I am officially yours, Yuuri Katsuki.
insert cat covered in blood emote
If Yuuri had any purely mean spirited bone in his body, he would have made some sort of rude remark to counter Viktor's very...Viktor-like reply. He still doesn't want him to get away with that cheeky remark but the kiss on his ear is a total cheap shot and while he wasn't burning up before from embarrassment, he certainly is now. Instinctively, one of Yuuri's hands will immediately go to cover the ear which Viktor had kissed.
Kissing was fine in public (or on the international stage) but small displays of affection like this were too much? It makes no sense, obviously, but there's not more he can do. The flowers on the table are still in bloom but instead of a gentle crispness from Yuuri, there's a more heated and oppressive air around him.
He had wanted to get better with his embarrassment but there was only so much he could do. But now that flare of embarrassment slowly subsiding, he gives Viktor a bit of a challenging but extremely flustered look. ]
I...I'm your's as well. [ He tries to keep his voice even but it wavers regardless. Yuuri wanted them to be equals and if Viktor "belonged" to him, then he "belonged" to Viktor. And even if that didn't exactly spell out what they were in the simplest of terms, it was enough for now. ] And I'm going to win that gold medal, too.
i love you.......
That alone should be proof that he loves Viktor. Putting up with all his bullshit. ]
That's the confidence I like to hear. [ There's zero sarcasm in his voice at that. He honestly did love the idea of Yuuri being determined for the gold. Not because of the medal itself, but the meaning behind it. It meant that Yuuri would put his whole being into his routines. ]
shoves you to the ground
Okay, there were several times where he didn't put his whole heart into it but those were days in the past. Nowadays the only thing that could affect his skating were his own nerves. He wanted nothing but to impress Viktor and to skate in such a way that he would look nowhere else but him. ]
Are you still hungry?
[ They were here originally for the food and even though they hadn't eaten all of the food that was brought to them, Yuuri has at least eaten a fair amount of what was there. ...not that he was eating his feelings or anything like that.
A more crass person would say something regarding "hunger", but was Viktor one of those types? ]
If we're done here we can just go and get groceries now.
wow...
And while Viktor could be a crass person from time to time in private, this isn't something that registers for him to be like that. So he doesn't just go for sexual hunger as being an implication here. ]
We should take the leftovers with us. [ He could honestly probably eat more, but at this point, he wanted to get home with Yuuri. Sure, they had their mind on the ice, but things got majorly derailed with their conversation. These things happen. It's also probable that Viktor had left food behind from time-to-time at a restaurant, but the fact that this was a "gift" from their hosts, it would be rude to leave things behind. Especially the dessert they hadn't even tried. ]
We could always take a detour to the apartment to drop them off and then get shopping.
[ One of them could wait outside, even, so that they wouldn't be tempted to just stay in after returning home. ]
tell me you didn't deserve it
We could.
[ Yuuri says thoughtfully as he decides to spoon himself some more food but change his mind at the last minute and holds it up towards Viktor. He just honestly hoped that Viktor wasn't going to get too comfortable with this treatment and expect more of it. ]
But if we make two detours back to the apartment then we'll never make it to the ice.
[ Unless that's Viktor's plan now. They had been so excited to get to it. ]
I DIDN'T
That's true. We could always opt for dropping this off at the apartment, head to the ice, and then grab some groceries on the way home. That would work, wouldn't it?
[ They shouldn't be too tired and as long as they didn't let the time completely disappear so that everything would be closed, it would be fine. Not only that, they would have food left over in case they did miss shopping and could easily remedy that by getting up early the next day. It wouldn't be that big of a deal, either way. ]
SHOVES AGAIN
Yeah, I think that'd be fine.
[ With that decided, Yuuri will look to flag down one of the servers to have their things packed up and to-go. Maybe he shouldn't have been too surprised to know that they would have taken all of the plates themselves to be packed away given how nice of the place it was, but he was. Mainly because the server gave them a weird look when they noticed how they were missing their hosts. ]
MEAN
Then it's settled.
[ The skating part of the deal was probably the most important part of their plans, honestly. ]
i know the truth tho
Then it was to the teleporters that would transport them to where the rink was located, or well, the city that the rink was located. Yuuri hadn't really liked the teleporter too terribly much finding the whole experience something rather unnerving. How was he supposed to know for certain that he wasn't going not make it to where they were? Also how did any of that stuff actually work?
Well, whatever the case, they made it finally to the rink without many hiccups. Casual small talk had between the two of them and Yuuri reaching out every so often to brush his fingers against Viktor's hand, too shy to hold it himself. Not that it matters currently. ]
There really is a rink...
[ There's a childish awe in Yuuri's voice as he sees the ice before them. It's definitely not Olympic sized but it's better than nothing. The next step that Yuuri takes is to look around for where they can find skates. He didn't see any buildings/shacks in the immediate area...or well, there was one shabby looking shack. Couldn't they once wander upon something that didn't make Yuuri have second guesses? ]
Did JJ tell you where we could get skates?
n-no
The childlike wonder made something in Viktor's heart skip a beat. Ah, he's beyond enamored with this man and every moment together he falls even more in love with him. Some might get sick of that sugar sweet, but he didn't care what they thought. ]
He didn't. [ Or maybe he did and it could have been when Viktor wasn't paying attention at all. This is also a very big possibility. ] Maybe there's something inside?
stares at you
Only one way to find out— [ And with no further word or indication, Yuuri is going to brave whatever apprehensions that he had to locate himself some rental skates. He does eventually find someone who were renting skates out and while they certainly didn't look like anything he was familiar with, Yuuri helps himself to a pair and lacing them up with practiced ease. ]
I wonder how balanced these blades are on the skates.
stares back
We'll find out how they are.
[ Trying them out was the only way to do that, of course. Before either of them can move from their bench, though, Viktor is leaning over to take Yuuri's chin in his hands and slowly lean in. ]
It's a relief to know we have this. [ And, since he's been all but given permission to be who he is, there's a quick and teasing kiss before he gets up and throws his arms above his head. ]
Ah, this is going to be so invigorating!
slowly shakes head
There had to be some line somewhere, right? Either way the shift in what they were and how they treated one another made Yuuri's face flushed. Never would he have imagined being in the situation he was now. ]
You sound like an old man when you say things like that.
[ He means it in all of the most playful of ways, but he's going to push past Viktor and help himself onto the ice, gliding easily onto the ice and feeling out the blades and getting familiar to them. They weren't terrible, but certainly not his own. At the very least they were still well worn in. ]
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Lines are made to be challenged and crossed. At least, that's Viktor's viewpoint. There was no reason to restrain yourself from doing something you want. That's honestly no way to live life. It'd be dull and boring. At least, to him it is.
But ouch, Yuuri! That line. Maybe some restraint wouldn't hurt. At least in that regard. ]
Yuuri, my poor heart! [ He's being dramatic. He's always a bit dramatic, though, so this shouldn't be a surprise. There's a heavyhearted sigh as he clutches his shirt over his heart and skates onto the ice. ]
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i tried to link a gif of yuuri in eros mode but then i got embarrassed help me
no one can help you...
no... someone must be able to
nope, sorry
leave me